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Loving and Being Loved: Self Compassion as a Pathway to Connection

Loving and Being Loved: Self Compassion as a Pathway to Connection

Many of us can probably remember a time when we fell madly in love, convinced that our beloved was our life’s crucial missing piece. Fiery for this new person, we believed that we must be with them in order to be happy! Of course, part of the human condition is the deep desire to be seen and loved. And so, when we are marinating in the hormone cocktail of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine which fuel the early infatuation stage of the relationship, we are experiencing the very real effects of the “most addictive substance on earth.1” We are easily swept…
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About the Precious Little Time, You Have Left

About the Precious Little Time, You Have Left

A Good Girl (Who Didn’t Make It) “Alyssa was my best friend.  She was a talented musician, a graceful gymnast, a brilliant writer, and a deeply passionate human being.  She cared about people.  Love bled from every facet of her being.  When she spoke, her eyes were as sincere as her words.  And she always wanted to understand what was wrong so she could strive to make it better. But Alyssa woke up one day during her senior year in college with a strange pain in her chest.  The on-campus doctors didn’t understand why, so they referred her to a…
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She could accept the injustice, or she could rewrite the law

She could accept the injustice, or she could rewrite the law

“Every six months, the routine was the same for 21-year-old Harvard student Amanda Nguyen. She would walk through the doors of her local rape crisis center in Massachusetts and plead to administrators: Do not destroy my rape kit. With the massive backlog of rape kits in the U.S., it was nearly impossible in some states to ensure that a kit was tested, let alone even track down its location. New York City alone reportedly has an estimated 17,000 untested rape kits. Under Massachusetts law, Nguyen had to locate her own rape kit and file an extension to preserve the evidence in…
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My heart cried last week: Part two

My heart cried last week: Part two

This is a continued conversation about sexual assault and why women don’t tell sooner, or ever. Last, week in part one I introduced the concept from my personal sexual abuse rear-view mirror. The words here are not meant to indict, but to shout comfort in the fact that none of us has to feel alone ever again.  Our voices heal! Last week we talked about feelings of shame. Victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault in adulthood or sexual abuse in childhood tend to feel shame because as human beings, we want to believe that we have control over what happens to…
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My heart cried last week: Part One

My heart cried last week: Part One

The intense angry sexual assault conversations knocked down the door to my secret pain. For all intent and purposes, I am well adjusted. I live in my worthiness, I believe my circumstances are not who I am. And, my abusers have long since died.  However, on rare occasions, unpredicted triggers catch my breath in hushed fury. I ask the ghosts  “How could you? How dare you? YOU were supposed to protect me.” Yet, I never told. “The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission reports receiving 12,000 allegations of sex-based harassment each year, with women accounting for about 83 percent of the complainants. That figure…
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The easy things aren’t always the right things.

The easy things aren't always the right things.

“When I was in elementary school my parents told me, it didn’t matter what I did when I grew up, so long as it made me happy.  “Happiness is the whole point of life”, my father said.  “But it doesn’t always come easy.  Your mother loves to help people in need, so she became a psychiatric nurse.  I love reading, writing, and poetry, so I became an English teacher.  We both find happiness in the hard work we do each day.” A few years later when I was in junior high, my sixth-grade homeroom teacher put me in detention for…
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I never would have made it without you!

I never would have made it without you!

Someone once said, “Tyra what would you do if you knew you could not fail?” I said I would make my impossible dreams possible. First, I would create a virtual, global community of intergenerational women, and those who love them, who are fearsome and generous, humble and honest, in pursuit of possibilities and purpose. A place to come together and create beautifully rendered intimate moments. Because of you, this impossible dream came true. The Frankly Speaking with Tyra G radio show launched in September 2017. Happy First Year Anniversary! I never would have made it without you. Every week, we…
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Are the “Man Code” and “self-compassion” enemies?

Are the "Man Code" and "self-compassion" enemies?

I recently overheard a father telling his preteen son what it means to be a man. It prompted sharing the following blog. “At the age of ten a boy begins imitating a man. And he continues doing this for the rest of his life.” -Mark Twain Most guys get lessons on how to live by the “boy code” from an early age—in families, playgrounds, schools, churches and temples, and on the streets. Even very young boys learn to “keep a stiff upper lip,” “not show their feelings,” “act real tough,” “not act too nice,” and “be cool.” Since the surest…
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September is Suicide Prevention Month

September is Suicide Prevention Month

When a family member commits suicide, the entire family is plunged into confusion and grief. Life is instinctually valued by all of life’s creatures. Even a blade of grass of a flower fights for the privilege of life. When someone close to you voluntarily ends their life, your entire value system is thrown into question. Family members may also be consumed with guilt thinking they somehow should have seen the signs that led to the individual’s suicide. Consider My Best Friends Departure by © Carina Spencer I jumped, you caught me. I laughed, you joked. I was down, you picked me up.…
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Have you ever walked into a room called shame?

Have you ever walked into a room called shame?

The key that unlocks the room is shaped like a negative unexpected event or circumstance that makes us leave safe places in our lives. Shame is an existential feeling of unworthiness. Dr. Bryn Jessup says. “When people feel shame, they believe that they are ultimately an inadequate person or an unworthy person.”[1] Shame is one of the most powerful emotions that we feel. It can cause us to sever relationships, sink into depression, fuel addictions and eating disorders, and even lead to suicide. For me it was rape; years ago. Before that, shame was a term I had not associated…
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Tyra's intuition and ability to coach you beyond the pain of your past and inspire you to do the work
necessary to step boldly into your future is phenomenal. She is one of the wisest women I know and I
am delighted to have her in my corner, cheering me on along the way. With Tyra on my side, I am confident that I will move through the challenges life brings.”

Lethia Owens, President/CEO, Game Changers International, Inc.

Disclaimer - Coaching services provide support, guidance and insight for clients and should in no way be viewed as professional counseling or therapy. It should be noted that with any coaching session, outcomes have many intervening variables and many possible outcomes.

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