“Each of us carries within ourselves a set of rules about gift-giving. Seldom acknowledged and rarely discussed, these rules determine what we give, how much we give, and to whom we give. Despite living only in our minds and expectations, the unwritten rules of gift-giving govern everything from the office Secret Santa exchange to the family’s morning under the Christmas tree.
Problem is, “unwritten” means that gift-giving rules are subject to interpretation—both in our own minds and in our dealings with others. Even in a single family, it’s common to find members with radically different ideas when it comes to “the rules” of gift-giving.
Why is it so important to get a grip on the rules behind holiday giving before we make our Christmas gifts list?
First, if you don’t understand why you gift as you do, it’s easy to enter the land of the absurd: making a midnight raid on the supermarket’s toy aisle when you discover that one child’s stocking holds fewer gifts than his brother’s.
Second, following one version of the unwritten rules can lead to conflict with loved ones., who may hold a different view. Scratch the surface of gift-giving disagreements, and you’re likely to find a rules conflict.
Young adults take on debt to give their own parents gifts the empty nesters neither need nor use. A determined crafter feels let down when a handmade gift—the product of hours of work –is unwrapped to a lukewarm response from the recipient. None of the parties can address the real conflict unless they understand the source: a failure to share the same assumptions about the act of giving.
The place to start? By understanding your own set of gift-giving rules. Bringing “the rules” into focus is the first step to bringing sanity and simplicity back to the season—and being clear about your own underlying gift-giving assumptions can ease conflicts with others.”[1]
Enjoy another view of gift giving by listening to www.radiofairfax.org Saturday evening at 8:00 EST Frankly Speaking with Tyra G. I guarantee you will be surprised!
[1] http://christmas.organizedhome.com/gifts-and-giving/understand-unwritten-rules-gift-giving
Until next time, remember,-
You are not alone.
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You are not your circumstances.
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You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.