The Job is Yours if You Want It

Let me rephrase that. The job is yours whether you want it or not.

“Little girls learn a lot from the women they grow up around, whether they are related or not. Older women are like midwives who assist in the birth of a young woman’s consciousness. It is not just what they do; it’s who they are, and how they demonstrate who they are, that provides young women with “womanhood training.” Young women and girls learn about themselves and what it means to be a woman by watching older women in their lives. They watch how and what, (and if) they cook. They watch what they wear and how they carry themselves, and how they treat themselves and each other.

Whether they realize it or not, whether they intend to or not, older women, the “womanhood midwives”, teach younger women what to expect from life. Some things are taught overtly, but the most important lessons are taught covertly. The words and actions of older women teach younger women whether to expect life to be peaceful or stressful, hard or easy, honorable of dishonorable. Only a woman can teach another woman what it really means to be a woman.”[1]

Sunday, after church, one of our teenage girls ran up to “hungry hug” me. She rocked me and said, “Oh Miss Tyra, when I grow up I want to be just like you!” As I returned the hug, I felt enormous responsibility overtake me. I had no idea what made her say that. Then, I remembered that young women “watch” older women.

I considered her eyes for a few long seconds. It was time for me to tell her things that her mirror could not show her. As I continued to hug her, the following words filled my spirit.

I said, “Beloved, thank you so much for the wonderful compliment!

But God made you a designer’s original? There is none other like you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. No one can do what God has designed you to do like you will do it. You are more beautiful than you think, more worthy than you know and more loved than you will ever imagine!”

She was quiet as her arms slowly fell to her side. I had my hands on her shoulders now as I continued to look into her eyes.

“I can help you get to know her if you like.”

She shyly smiled then and said, “I think I might like that.”

We hugged the promise we had just made to each other.  

[1] Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday I Cried (Simon &Schuster, New York 1999), 88

    Until next time, remember,

• You are not alone.

• You are not your circumstances.

• You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.