Women | Tyra Garlington

How certain instants in our lives make us who we are

Posted on July 6, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

I spent all last week with pre-teens at Vacation Bible School. Loving and listening to them reminded me that who they may see in the mirror may, for varying reasons, be created by the words of others. Shane Koyczan’s spoken-word poetry pays tribute to the consequences of our language. If you have children in your life, it is a magnificent read. I have provided an edited excerpt here. To This Day for the Bold and the Beautiful When I was a kid, I hid my heart under my bed, because my mother said, “If you are not careful, someday someone’s……
Read More »

Who I am does not mean how you treat me.

Posted on June 28, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

She is twenty-one now. She has graduated college with honors. Her family is proud of her. She has a good job lined up. However at unseen levels, she is missing in action. Never telling her parents has been a way of protecting them. Never telling anyone else has been a way of protecting herself. But those choices are not working. She is in a long-term relationship with shame. Sometimes her pain is incomprehensible. There seems to be no possible resolution. Her rape has left ever present residue. The memory of that night lives in a personal backward facing time machine over which she……
Read More »

Being you is the right thing to do.

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

Sitting in the large stadium enjoying the commencement festivities, I watched graduates exchange enthusiastic handshakes for rolled-up pieces of paper symbolizing the successful end of a season. Apparently graduates brought along their own cheering section with specific instructions on how and what to scream. In the midst of the noise, the echoes in my mind traveled back to my graduation day at Ohio State University. As I walked across the stage, I looked down at my beautiful engagement ring and squeezed the simulated diploma. I just knew that I was walking into that happily ever after I had been waiting……
Read More »

Every day is immediate.

Posted on May 17, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

I like to greet the morning with gratitude. I intentionally focus on my body celebrating that I can move, see, feel, think, hear and care. I am aware it didn’t have to be this way and I remember there was a season when it wasn’t. Then as I tune into messages from the world, I long for a day without war, a time where empathy is an effective weapon against hate and when all human life is considered worthy. Apparently not yet. Sometimes my sense of powerlessness to make things better feels like grief. It was like that Sunday. I……
Read More »

If not for you.

Posted on May 10, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

Nina Simone wrote, “Everything must change, nothing stays the same, Everyone must change, no one stays the same The young become the old, mysteries unfold Cause that’s the way of time, nothing and no one goes unchanged.” I recently began to appreciate that the part of me that is the most easily lost or changed is also the part of me that is most easily cherished. I have had to learn to be brave enough to know who I am and let me be her. “The young become the old.” My birthday yesterday reminded me that I have lived longer……
Read More »

Goodness and mercy do follow me.

Posted on April 5, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

I recently went to dinner at a home where I knew relaxation and compassion lived. I was exhausted! My commitments had outpaced my energy the week before. I needed the unconditional love that would answer the door. I would not be judged or questioned for my silent but hungry hugs. I plopped down where I could see the activity and yet not be necessary to it. I imagined what words would write themselves if others could see us. Activities were based on age and role. The “Youngers” played until they ran hot and needed water. The “Tweens” looked away from their……
Read More »

Are you in need of your immediate inner strength?

Posted on March 29, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

She had disappeared from my life years ago. I was so happy to hear her voice. She had been a wonderful friend to me in my time of need. Her story unfolded amongst sobs. I listened. She recently became singular as a result of rejection from her significant other. She was unemployed, about to be homeless and estranged from her only daughter. I listened. The few times I asked, “Have you…?” Her response was, “I can’t because…” I realized her pain had her stuck in anger and shame. I was reminded of how proud she was. She was used to……
Read More »

Gone but not forgotten.

Posted on March 8, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

When spring was in the air and I was a little girl, I imagined the bright colors it would wear through the door. It would smell and feel good and I could play outside much later. Spring meant bike rides and skipping rope and no more heavy coats and mittens. March was the month that signaled spring was near. I had little girl visions of what March would look like dressed as a “lion” or “lamb”. Much later I discovered that people who came long before me believed there was a balance in the weather and in life. So if……
Read More »

Do you have any idea how I feel about you?

Posted on March 1, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

I care. I really do. Last week while in a meeting, the gentleman sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, “I really enjoyed your blog last week. I thought I was the only one.” He had no idea what that meant to me. He was a stranger. He didn’t know that I wonder if my words connect, encourage and let someone, anyone talk about sometimes uncomfortable things and to understand that no matter what, they are not alone. So take a look in this mirror and see how I see you and why I feel the way I do.……
Read More »

You’ve got to give me room.

Posted on February 23, 2016 by Tyra Garlington • 0 Comments

Last week I asked you the question, “Do you agree love is all you need?” Obviously, your answer was directly related to your operational definition of love. I hope the topic stimulated consideration and perhaps discussion. This week I continue my Tyra talks about love refrain. I invite you to consider another relationship scenario that has on occasion presented itself in my life coaching sessions. My life’s emotional journey made it easy for me to relate; maybe you can as well. Right away, almost suddenly you and your significant other are living your definition of mutual adoration. Your love is……
Read More »