You’ve got to give me room.

Last week I asked you the question, “Do you agree love is all you need?”

Obviously, your answer was directly related to your operational definition of love. I hope the topic stimulated consideration and perhaps discussion. This week I continue my Tyra talks about love refrain. I invite you to consider another relationship scenario that has on occasion presented itself in my life coaching sessions. My life’s emotional journey made it easy for me to relate; maybe you can as well.

Right away, almost suddenly you and your significant other are living your definition of mutual adoration. Your love is effortless; it’s pure and faithful. You are happy with each other just the way you are, including your gifts of imperfections. You really “get” each other. Perhaps you are so in sync that you finish one another’s sentences. Most importantly you want to be together more than not. At least, that is the way you would describe your relationship.

Then at some point, you notice you feel like you need more. You are fixated on your partner, you need proof of his love and you need it frequently. You need a title that shouts his commitment to you and if you don’t get it, you are not okay. Now you relationship no longer about enjoyment and effortlessness, now you are suffocating for the air that you believe only he can give you to breathe.

Then you hear him say the words, “You’ve got to give me room.”

SNAP!

There it is. Every time you fall in love something like this happens. Why?

There is one thing I know for sure.  There is a prerequisite for making love work with someone else. You have to love yourself first. Don’t roll your eyes, it’s true.  When you love yourself you don’t care why someone else won’t put a label on your relationship as proof of commitment because you know your worth and your value.

When you love yourself the whole world reacts to your differently. Strangers smile at you with curiosity. People are kind and friendly just because you are you. People will include you because they want to be in your company.  Why? Because people who love themselves have an inner light that draws other to them. They have a magnetic force of positive energy that people crave. The attraction equation seems to change from the physical to how you make others feel.

Try getting in the habit of treating yourself like someone love and see what happens. I dare you!

    Until next time, remember,

• You are not alone.

• You are not your circumstances.

• You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.