The key that unlocks the room is shaped like a negative unexpected event or circumstance that makes us leave safe places in our lives. Shame is an existential feeling of unworthiness. Dr. Bryn Jessup says. “When people feel shame, they believe that they are ultimately an inadequate person or an unworthy person.”
Shame is one of the most powerful emotions that we feel. It can cause us to sever relationships, sink into depression, fuel addictions and eating disorders, and even lead to suicide.
For me it was rape; years ago. Before that, shame was a term I had not associated with what I felt from time to time. For me, the experience broke positive rhythms I had established with others in my life. I couldn’t find the words I never needed before but needed then. That’s what shame did. It made me silent. It made still my life. It quieted my love. It was the pickpocket of my confidence. Now humiliation and distress were emotional trappings added my vocabulary. It was all that and more to me.
I never told.
It took me years to understand that shame was not about actually DOING anything wrong. It was about the FEELING and the THINKING that I WAS somehow wrong, defective, inadequate, not good enough, or not strong enough. That was me; a grown, successfully professional, married, mother and wife and I felt not good enough.
According to Shame and Vulnerability expert, Brene Brown, overcoming shame is “about the willingness to be imperfect, to be vulnerable. It’s about the courage to wake up in the morning and acknowledge that no matter what gets done and what doesn’t get done, that I’m enough and that I’m worthy of love, belonging, and joy. Those are irreducible needs for humans.
The opposite of it is scarcity: “I’m not enough.” What I produce, what I create, dictates who I am and dictates my worth. Wholeheartedness is different than that. It’s, “I am enough.”
“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”- Brene Brown
 https://heleo.com/conversation-embrace-the-uncool-brene-brown-on-overcoming-shame/12402/Until next time, remember,
You are not alone.
You are not your circumstances.
You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.