“Lights, lists, carols, crowds, family, the perfect gift, friends. This is often the stuff of a magical holiday. But for those living with loss, they can signal a minefield of emotions, triggers, and questions. Facing the holidays after a loss can be daunting for a child, teen, or family. Young people living with loss, no matter where they are developmental, can find the holidays as especially conflicted due to the fact that they in large part do get swept up into the energies of the season. Many often report feeling guilt or shame about wanting to participate fully in the joy and hope of the season. Kids often are faced with needing to define their families most during the holidays, and gaps in their stories can be hard for them to navigate without having the tools to fully engage their family story.
Despite the fact that our friends and families may try to make us feel better or bring their holiday cheer to us, it can be a time of intense emotional swings and social situations that may require us to share ourselves before we are ready to on our grief journey. Creating a holiday that reflects an authentic and resonant space for our memories is important. A holiday plan that helps us to hold these mixed emotions in our hearts but also allows for release and connection is an important step on our path to healing.
Adults in the lives of children and teens can help this by giving clear, direct messages about the losses that are present in the family’s history. By giving kids the permission and tools they need both to enjoy themselves and to mourn as needed, we open up a new way for them to see themselves, and to identify healthy coping in general. The intentionality that can come from exploring the newness of a loss, or that comes from giving space to all losses as a part of the holidays also sets a family up for creating new rituals and traditions that can be powerful and lasting.”
What does a father give his son when both are grieving the loss of someone dear to them both?
 http://www.legacy.com/news/advice-and-support/article/lights-loss-and-surviving-the-holidays-10-tips-for-grieving-familiesUntil next time, remember,
You are not alone.
You are not your circumstances.
You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.