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Christmas Gift #4 You don’t have to be a people pleaser.

If you spend your life pleasing others, you spend your life.” ~Cheryl Richardson

Looking back on my life, I came to realize that I spent quite a high amount of my precious time trying. Trying to be perfect. Trying to be appreciated and liked by everyone else around me. Trying to fit in with different groups of people so that I could feel accepted and approved.

I can recall many situations in my life when I did things I didn’t really want to do to comfort or please others. I wanted people to like me. I expected them to give me the things I wasn’t giving myself: love, care, and attention.

People-pleasing is an unhealthy behavior, a clear sign of low self-esteem. It is disempowering, inauthentic, and extremely time- and energy-consuming.

Here are a few things I learned about myself and people pleasing.

Allow me to be me.

Be honest about what you like or dislike. Be real. Pretending and faking who you are and what you want will only work against you.

Be your own kind of beauty. Stay true to your feelings, opinions, thoughts, and emotions.

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~ Brene Brown

Detach from another person’s opinion of me.

Seeking validation from others turns us into their prisoners. We can’t control what other people feel or think, but we oversee our own actions, feelings, and thoughts.

I do the best I know and the best I can every day. I love and approve of myself as I am.

 “When I seek your approval, I don’t approve of the me that’s seeking the approval.” ~ Byron Katie 

Set healthy boundaries with the outer world.

One of the most challenging things I had to learn was how to say no to things I didn’t really want to do, without feeling selfish, guilty, or overly worried that I might hurt or upset someone else.

I decided to speak up for myself and see what happened. Surprisingly, everything was just fine when I started telling people what I needed. It turns out we teach people how to treat us by deciding what we will and won’t accept.

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Become my own best friend. 

For my happiness, I’m in charge. I stopped expecting others to make me happy and to fulfill my needs and desires.

I’ve made myself a priority in my own life. I engage in activities that bring me joy. I do more things for my heart and soul. This way, I create happiness from the inside out instead of chasing it through other people.

“You can never feel lonely when you like the person you’re alone with” – Wayne Dyer


    Until next time, remember,
  • You are not alone.
  • You are not your circumstances.
  • You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.

is a best selling author, Breakthrough Speaker and Spiritual coach. She has spent the last fifteen years mentoring and coaching those needing direction and support in the areas of life skills, leadership development, effective and efficient communications, and improved self-image. Connect with Tyra to get the support and help you need. Contact Info: Tyra Garlington Email: For Bookings and Inquiries: (813) 994-9462 As a Breakthrough Coach, Spiritual Coach and Christian Coach, Tyra offers a variety of breakthrough services including but not limited to: Personal Empowerment Coach :: Spiritual Coaching :: Breakthrough Coaching :: Christian Speaker :: Professional Speaker :: Breakthrough Speaker :: Personal Empowerment Speaker

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Tyra's intuition and ability to coach you beyond the pain of your past and inspire you to do the work
necessary to step boldly into your future is phenomenal. She is one of the wisest women I know and I
am delighted to have her in my corner, cheering me on along the way. With Tyra on my side, I am confident that I will move through the challenges life brings.”

Lethia Owens, President/CEO, Game Changers International, Inc.

Disclaimer - Coaching services provide support, guidance and insight for clients and should in no way be viewed as professional counseling or therapy. It should be noted that with any coaching session, outcomes have many intervening variables and many possible outcomes.

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