We planned to meet for some “quality time”. It had been a while since we shared a hug. As I approached the table I felt her sense of hopelessness before I saw the pain in her eyes. It was time for me to crawl into that dark space with her and be. I knew the story, I knew the journey. I knew her. I call her friend.
So many things crossed my mind to say as I listened. I watched her mouth tremble as she tried to dam up the tears that leaked from her heart. We had been here before.
She was haunted by ghosts from her past and current demons of powerlessness. She could not separate who she was from what was happening to her and those she loved. More importantly, she held on to the lie that she could fix what was wrong. But that’s what mothers and daughters and sisters and wives do, isn’t it?
I wanted to tell her again that pain happens to you but healing happens through you. I wanted to say that her pain had to do with her focusing on every other time. She needed to step into her present reality. I wanted her to consider forgiveness as her remedy; that doing so would allow her to focus on the future without fighting her past.
I wanted her to stop being hard on herself and pay more attention to the messages her life was giving in her blessings and her successes. I needed her to walk in her worthiness and to know that the vulnerability she was showing me took strength. I silently thanked her for trusting herself with me. I wanted to gift her my faith in my Lord and Savior. I needed her to feel the peace of giving him her feelings of pain, betrayal, resentment, doubt, fear and hopelessness. I needed her to know the healing power of his unconditional love, grace and mercy that comes for the asking.
She had seen God work in my life and received my testimonies, however, she was not yet ready for surrender. And so we drank tea. When we parted, I held her tightly and long as I said a silent prayer that I had smuggled a little hope into her hopefulness.Until next time, remember,
You are not alone.
You are not your circumstances.
You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.