As they rolled me from recovery into my hospital room, I came more awake. The nurse adjusted the tubes and my pillows. She smiled and asked me how I was feeling. I opened my mouth to answer, and nothing came out. I tried again and again, and nothing came out. Each time the pain felt like more. The nurse responded to the terrified look on my face and gently explained that my vocal chords had been impacted during the surgery. They would need time to heal.
But here’s the thing. The week prior to my unexpected surgery, I was sitting with a production manager discussing my newly approved weekly radio show; Frankly Speaking with Tyra G. I had worked so hard to become certified in radio production. I had spent weeks developing the first six months of programming and identifying potential guests. A friend had composed a special theme song just for me. At last, I could breathe life into my dream.
But now my dream had become my nightmare. I was lying in a hospital bed, my mind altered by anesthesia and morphine to believe thoughts like, “No ability to talk means no radio show.” “See, I told you it was too good to be true.” “How will you face all those folks who jumped into your enthusiasm with you?” “You even had the audacity to go and plug the show on TV!”
I was afraid. I felt helpless. I panicked! I pouted. I pushed the morphine pump to get relief from my pain which by the way, had now invaded my spirit. I wept silent tears and somehow, I remembered to pray. I slept deeply and long.
I just love God’s custom-made and intentional love. He interrupted my nightmare to remind me who I was. He told me (again) that the worst things that happen to me do not define me. That who I am and what is happening to me are two different things. He let me know that even my storms have power. So, when I woke up, I was dressed anew in my right mind and prepared to do something with what I thought was my nothing. Still unable to talk, my thoughts had flipped my script to say:
“You cannot control what happens in life, but you can control how you respond. In your response, lives your greatest power. Your only job each day is to wake up and be the best version of yourself you can be. Step out of spaces that contain groundless fears, needless ideas, judgments, and self-pity parties; stop flirting with foolishness and dating dysfunction. Where is your faith? You are now, and you become what you think. So, dwell in the positive person you were created to be.Until next time, remember,
You are not alone.
You are not your circumstances.
You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.