How many times had she heard and said those words? But this time was different. She was different. She had been divorced ten years. She had been alone ten years. It had taken her that long to learn to love herself again; to see herself as worthy. Now she was ready to dip her toe, perhaps her whole foot into the water. She was tired of being “singular”.
Initially she had tried online dating. Perhaps because then she still saw herself as damaged, she attracted unsatisfying companions with her words. Oh, but now she was ready to share her evolved, healthy, worthy self with someone. But with whom; from where; how; and when?
Others noticed her longing and wanted to help.
She began to hear the words others used to describe her. They included positive adjectives like “fun”, and “smart” and “attractive”. There were also adjectives like, “independent”, “strong”, “overwhelming energy”. BAM! There it was… The attributes that would define the degree of difficulty she would face meeting someone to cherish.
She had read once “that strong women don’t fall in love.”
“They tread in love. Strong women entertain love, they flirt with it, they embody it with caution and they escape from it unscathed. Everyone knows that. Only weak women allow love to affect them. Strong women couldn’t care less.
She also had read “that strong women live their lives alone.”
They may have flings or even domestic partnerships but never, ever lovers. Love makes you crippled and small. Love stops you from achieving what you want out of life. Strong women don’t fall in love because love is an emotion. And real women do not feel anything pervasively. Real women switch their sentiments on and off like a light switch. Real women are strong because they have mastered detachment.”
No! No! No!
She refused to accept her strength as negative. She would commit to her transformed repositioned self:
She remembered, “Strong is knowing what you want. Strong means fighting like hell for the life that you want to be living, whether the end goal is getting elected as president or staying home to raise a family. Strong means living by your own definition. Strong means ignoring anyone who belittles your struggles as you fight to live a life that you’re proud of. Strong means you’re walking in line with whatever it is that you believe in.”
She was ready to live the cliché…”Let’s see what happens”… and she joyfully waded into the water.
As she did, she looked back and said, “Come on in. The waters fine!”
Until next time, remember,
You are not alone.
You are not your circumstances.
You have everything within you to live a purpose-filled life.